Ever Since Then
by HelikaAkileh
Summary: A response to the Extra Chapter 559, "Since Then" the epilogue to the manga's conclusion. Inuyasha and Kagome discuss the events of the Ne-no-kubi and try to straighten out some things. An InuKag Oneshot.


Six months later and he's still the same as ever. Geez. She'd think he knew to trust her by now, but she supposed that it's always been a sore spot for them both.

Honestly, neither of them had brought up the topic of Kikyou since Kagome had arrived through the well. It was this unspoken thing, that he'd moved on and they could live on together. That's what she thought, and that hadn't changed, no. Still, it was a little nostalgic and painful that Inuyasha would feel like he had to hide the fact that the Ne-no-kubi was a Kikyou-related youkai.

Speaking of nostalgia, Kagome certainly hadn't "Osuwari'd" Inuyasha in a long time. Ever since she got back, she used the subjugation beads sparingly, whenever he was being way too difficult. Inuyasha had changed in their three years apart though, and she was happy to only say _the word_ on those rare occassions. This time it was with a sigh of slight disappointment that she said it.

He was a little peeved about the ordeal, but he didn't complain much aside from a grouchy pout. There was no "Hey, what was that for?!" or growling out her name and cursing her existence. They both knew he deserved a little admonishing after what had just happened.

Maybe he deserved a little more scorn, but she noticed how his tone changed when he asked if she was angry. He was pained and worried and _sad_. She could tell that he had that hurt puppy look, even though she could only see his back. His ears were lowered and his shoulders sagged. He was upset that Kikyou came up, worried that the topic of her would always make Kagome upset somehow; that she'd remember all the things he had put her through in her vain and be angry with him for it.

It'd been almost four years since the dead priestess's final passing, and yet she managed to linger with them. That's what they got for never talking about it though.

Maybe today would be the day, Kagome thought. It seemed like now was the time. Really, they should have addressed this much earlier, but they were too wrapped up in being happy together that it passed without a thought. After three years apart they so clearly just wanted to be together. That's all. It's not like they were putting it off or ignoring the problem. Kagome wasn't even aware there was this much of an issue. It wasn't until today that she realized that they hadn't actually resolved any of their past.

They sat together on the grassy hill. Inuyasha kept the pout on his face, and she wanted to roll her eyes. They were going to be okay. He _had_ to know that. Didn't he?

"I told you that I'm not mad," she stated with an even tone.

He stared at the ground.

"I'm a little annoyed at you for thinking I would be. I told you, you should trust me more. After all this time I'd like to think you'd have some faith in me, Inuyasha."

His face snapped up. "I-" and his voice got stuck in his throat.

The girl sighed. "I guess we need to sort some things out, ne Inuyasha?"

It made his mouth clamp shut, but the pout was back. This time he looked more nervous than pissed off.

"First of all, I think I know why you did what you did, and hid it from me... but I need to hear it from you. Why were you being so secretive about the Ne-no-kubi and Kikyou?"

After some hesitation he spoke. "Because I didn't want to bring her up... since you know, we're... you're..."

"Out with it."

"Since we're happy. Or, I'm happy. Here. With you. And you're happy too, I think. I didn't want to ruin it..."

In a display of affection that she only allowed in the most private of places, she kissed his nose to reassure him.

"I am happy here. You don't have to sound so unsure."

After almost half a year, he still got red in the face whenever she did things like that. He was too sweet and lovable for her to keep her affection at bay.

"I'd appreciate it if you'd trust me. I'm going to stay with you no matter what. What happened a long time ago is all in the past. You don't have to walk on eggshells when Kikyou comes up."

"Yeah but you sounded pretty angry when the Ne-no-kubi called you by her name."

Kagome frowned, remembering. "That's a different issue. It's one thing to hear that Kikyou did something, it's another thing entirely to mistaken for her. After all this time, I don't like having to remind anyone that I am me and no one else."

Once again, the hanyou fixed his eyes to the ground. He didn't expect to win the argument, not that this was one. He still looked guilty.

"You see me as me, don't you?" Kagome questioned softly.

"Well yeah. I told you that already, to me you're no one else. You and Kikyou... are nothing alike. I was almost as pissed off as you were when I heard that idiot demon call you by her name, it's so obvious." Never mind that he made the same mistake when he first met her.

"Good," she sat up a little, a pleased smile settling on her face. "And you like me that way, right?"

"What do you mean?" he dared to look up at her.

"I mean, you want to be with _me_ right?" She didn't think she had to ask him, but if she had to be blunt to settle things, then she would do just that.

"Of course I do!" the hanyou defended himself. "What do you think of me?"

"That's what I thought." She settled her hand on his to calm him down.

"I want to be with you, Kagome..." he restated. "I want you by my side, always." He turned their hands over so he could hold hers. "I just remember all the crap that you had to deal with when Kikyou was still around, and since you came back we haven't had to deal with that. You seemed happy, so I didn't want you to go back and think about those bad things. I don't want to make you upset," he admitted.

"I haven't questioned you about this before, and I never thought I had to... but you're not just settling with me, right Inuyasha? Because she's... gone."

"No!" He claimed, now staring intensely into her eyes.

Great, now she was sad. It hadn't crossed her mind that it was a possibility. She thought... she still thought that they didn't have to say anything. Now her head was all jumbled and it was getting the better of her.

"I want to be with _you_. Only you." God, it was nearly four years in the making for them to finally get some resolution to this, huh? "When Kikyou passed, I... I still don't know how to feel. I was in pain, yeah. I had a hard time letting her go, but you helped me get through it. I don't think I would've been able to pull through without you... but that's not why I wanted to be with you. You're more than that. You're different." Through his talk he paused to look at the girl next to him.

"You make me happy... At first I felt guilty about that, because of how Kikyou had died for me and then I go off living on without her feeling calm and light. I didn't think I had any right to feel like that. You made me feel those things and I tried to push you away because of it... and I decided that I'd be with her instead. I owed her more than I wanted to be with you. But you never gave up on me, never left my side, and then I never wanted to leave yours."

He paused and looked at a forlorn Kagome. This was why he hadn't wanted the subject to come up. He hadn't seen her look so unsure of herself in so long. It was up to him to fix it now. She needed to understand him so that she's never feel so insecure again.

"You're... the first person I ever trusted, Kagome. Don't doubt that. I trust you more than I've ever trusted anyone in my life, including Kikyou. I guess that's why I felt worse sometimes... because if I had trusted Kikyou back then... we wouldn't have been tricked, but I guess it goes both ways. We didn't trust each other. Not completely. Not the way that I trust you."

Carefully, he ran this thumb across the smooth skin of her hand.

"I know I picked her, a long time ago. I said I was hers, that I couldn't forget her. But I couldn't forget you either."

She winced.

"There were times when I was with her, or I _thought_ I was with her because of some trick. You'd always bring me back. I'd hear your voice and I had to get back to you. It wasn't even a choice in my head, it was instinct. I _had _to get back to you."

Kagome thought back and remembered several times when that happened. It was the kind of clarification that had alluded her for years. She had come to terms with it on her own, but hearing the words from Inuyasha changed everything. It chased away her own demons, which had resurfaced despite how she had tried to put them down on her own.

"It's okay Inuyasha, you don't h-"

"You're more to me than anyone else, Kagome. You showed me what it meant to trust in someone, in your friends, in myself. You gave me a place to belong and a reason to live... even after Kikyou."

During his pause she took the chance to speak. "Inuyasha, that's all you need to-"

"I could move on from Kikyou only because of you," he interrupted again. "I couldn't move on from you. I _need_ you."

Kagome smiled and let the water gather in her eyes. She wiped them with her sleeves before anything more could come from it.

"I'm sorry about what happened before. I promise that it's _you_. I... know that I belong with you."

Incase he decided to talk her into a tizzy, she shut his mouth by pressing her lips to his.

"Thank you," she sighed happily. "That was... more than you had to say."

Like a switched had been flipped, Inuyasha realized everything that he so outlandishly proclaimed to her. His face turned red and he turned away.

"I'm sorry that I ended up getting upset after all." She rested her head on his shoulder. "You should know that I always understood that you had to go, even when I got mad. It was because I was jealous, because I loved you." She took her hand and made him look down at her. "I always loved you."

"I... I'm sorry I caused you so much pain. I didn't want to make you mad again..."

"I know you didn't. But I am so happy with you Inuyasha. Please trust me with everything, okay?"

This time it was the both of them that leaned in to each other. It was a prolonged kiss that told the other of their vows, their apologies, their forgiveness and adoration.

"I promise."

**Well everyone, it seems that I've fallen in love with Inuyasha all over again. I know that the fandom has shrunk since the ending- the original series, then the manga's conclusion, and then Final Act. Then Miss Takahashi blessed us with the Epilogue, and I just **_**had**_** to make a response to it because I needed to make sense of it! **

**I'll always, always lament the fact that Inuyasha and Kagome still haven't manga-canonically kissed, but that's alright. I was so distraught about the epilogue, and how it seems that Inuyasha and Kagome still had such big misunderstandings, so I came up with this to help clarify some things. Hopefully it makes sense to you as well, and gives you the warm feelings that my forever OTP gives to me. **

**Aki/Janelle**


End file.
